Getting Back on the Saddle, Date #3

227234_10150189647514153_1184052_nWhat’s That Smell?

Around that same time, a friend of mine decided to set me up with a friend of his. Even though my friend described Chris as my “type” and even showed me pictures to back it up, I played it smart. We had multiple online and phone chats over the course of a few weeks.  He was intelligent, attractive, charming and worked for an AIDS research laboratory. He seemed great!

We finally decided to meet up for a drink. I walked up to the table with a confident smile. However, it quickly drooped when I got a whiff of him. I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly the scent was.  Body odor? Bad breath? Did he forget to wipe?

Since I was already there, I thought, oh well, at least I’ll have a cocktail and possibly an interesting conversation. We ordered a few and talked about work, music, politics, and traveling. Yes, he smelled but at least he was interesting. Afterwards, we went for a walk. As much as I liked him, I couldn’t get past the smell. I found myself playing ‘Name That Smell’ while he talked. Old Spice? Sweat?

Out of nowhere, he leaned in and started kissing me. Damn. He’s a good kisser, too. I just couldn’t get past the smell and I jerked my head back almost gagging. He asked me what was wrong. I didn’t know how to kindly say, “you reek of rotten milk,” so I told him I didn’t expect him to kiss me. We walked some more and then he began holding my hand. I looked down at my hand in his and wondered if the smell would transfer.

As we approached the parking lot, he kissed me again. Gosh, what is that smell? That’s it! Old water. Holding my breath, I retracted and told him that I really needed to get home since it was getting late.

Before I could get into my car and make a clean getaway, he asked me if I wanted to go to the beach with him tomorrow. I apologized and told him that I had plans already. He kissed me again. This time I turned my cheek so he ended up kissing my face a few times. I felt so gross. I sped home, not wanting to swallow and then washed my mouth out with Listerine.

After a few flaccid phone calls, I figured he would take the hint and move on. But subtlety didn’t seem to be working. So, I decided to whip out an oldie but a goodie and said that my ex- boyfriend had called and that we were going to give it another chance. He seemed to understand and I’m sure he felt a little rejected but at least it left him with some dignity.

Erik Fact: So maybe I haven’t found “The One” yet but I have found plenty of “Ones” – all of whom have helped to make me become a wiser, more honest, more soulful, more communicative partner for the next relationship – as well as better in bed, which doesn’t hurt either.